Please tell us you weren't in line to see a midnight showing of "The Internship" on Thursday night instead of watching hockey. Even if the movie (zero stars, according to RedEye's Matt Pais) does feature Blackhawks superfan Vince Vaughn.
After all, Game 4 of the Western Conference finals in L.A. had all the star power you needed. It also brought out our inner movie critic.
FIRST PERIOD
2 stars: Jonathan Toews, who hasn't scored since Game 5 against Detroit, has a breakaway on Jonathan Quick, but the Kings goalie makes the stop. Still, maybe that gets Captain Serious going.
0 stars: Slava Voynov blasts one past Corey Crawford to give L.A. the early lead. A Sheldon Brookbank gaffe led directly to the goal. Not a good impression, new guy.
0 stars: Andrew Shaw slashes a Kings player. On the way back to the bench. He's lucky Coach Q can't reach his neck in the penalty box.
4 stars: GOAL! Bryan Bickell (who else?) ties it with a shot that wobbles its way past Quick. He must have borrowed the Knucklepuck from "D2: The Mighty Ducks." Sidebar: Wasn't that movie great?
4 stars: Crawford stops a breakaway one minute, and later staves off a 3-on-2 rush for the Kings. Your move, Mr. Quick.
Score: Blackhawks 1, Kings 1
SECOND PERIOD
3 stars: Crawford is tested, oh, about 19 seconds into the third period. And slams the door on L.A. Good ol' Corey.
0 stars: So the puck sits in front of Crawford. And sits there. And sits there. Until Dustin Penner smacks it in to give L.A. the lead. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING WITH THIS?
3 stars: A poke check by Crawford foils a Kings breakaway. The goalie giveth, and he taketh away. Mostly taketh away.
0 stars: The Hawks fail to get a shot off during a 5-on-3 power play that lasts almost a minute. Not. One. Lousy. Shot. You're killing fans' confidence here, guys. And maybe your own.
4 stars: GOAL! After a furious set of chances, Patrick Kane chips it in after a deflection by Jonathan Toews. Nice teamwork!
Score: Blackhawks 2, Kings 2
THIRD PERIOD
4 stars: GOAL! Marian Hossa drives a ferocious shot by Quick on a 2-on-1 with Michal Handzus, just minutes into the period. The poor goalie never had a chance.1 star: Brent Seabrook gets upended right over the back of teammate Niklas Hjalmarsson. Looked like a junior high prank.
2 stars: Bickell swipes the puck several feet from the Kings goal, and only a great Quick save prevents another goal from Captain Clutch. Keep at it, big guy.
3 stars: Quick absolutely robs Kane with a glove save-from his backside. Game recognize game.
4 stars: Aaaaaaaaaand the Hawks are coming back to Chicago with a 3-1 series lead. They can turn the lights out on L.A. on Saturday.
Final score: Blackhawks 3, Kings 2
Want more? Discuss this article and others on RedEye Sports' Facebook page.