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Breaking Bears

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Yep, it's almost over.

No, not the Bears' season. Only the most pessimistic fan would fear the worst from a 3-0 team.

Rather, "Breaking Bad" has just one more episode remaining to incinerate our nerves before its five-season run ends Sept. 29. And if you were watching Walter White-er, Bryan Cranston-and friends Sunday instead of tuning in to Bears-Pittsburgh, we understand.

So to fill in the gaps, we've matched up the key players from Sunday's game with their "Breaking Bad" counterparts:

Walter White: The undisputed star of the show.

Hank Schrader: Single-minded, almost to a fault.

Skyler White: Hard to like but gets the job done.

Jesse Pinkman: Well, he gets beat up a lot.

 

FIRST QUARTER

Walter: Matt Forte, hands down. Not long after he punched it in from 5 yards out for a touchdown, the Bears' do-it-all running back exploded for a 55-yard run, setting up another Bears TD.

Hank: D.J. Williams was glued to Ben Roethlisberger. The Bears linebacker stripped the Steelers quarterback early in the quarter and planted him into the turf for the sack to end it.

Skyler: OK, so coach Marc Trestman was unsuccessful in his first-quarter challenge. He still had the guts to go for it on fourth-and-goal, and his offense rewarded him with a 17-0 lead.

Jesse: Poor Pittsburgh offense. The home crowd went "nuts" after the Steelers mustered a rarely-seen first down on its first play from scrimmage. Harsh. And well-deserved, especially considering Roethlisberger fumbled two plays later.

Score: Bears 17, Steelers 0

 

SECOND QUARTER

Walter: Major Wright picked off a Steelers pass early in the quarter and, you guessed it, turned it into a Bears score. Just as it should be.

Hank: The Bears just keep feeding Forte the rock. He finished the half with nine rushes and three receptions. If it ain't broke

Skyler: Say what you will aboutRoethlisberger and his off-field issues, he's a beast on the field. He shook off that pick-six to throw a TD to Antonio Brown, making the Steelers less desperate for the time being.

Jesse: You don't expect a punter to take contact, so it was big when Zoltan Mesko (yes, that's his real name) got smacked by the Bears' Anthony Walters. Result: the drive stayed alive for the Steelers, who eventually scored a TD. Ugh.

Halftime score: Bears 24, Steelers 10

 

THIRD QUARTER

Walter: Antonio Brown might be the new Martellus Bennett. The Steelers receiver made an incredible grab to pull his team within a touchdown. Just tip your cap and move on.

Hank: Fans love howJulius Peppers will stop at nothing to get a sack. They just wish it happened a bit more often. So does Peppers.

Skyler: Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis were spotted on the Bears sideline Sunday night. See, they don't show up ONLY at Soldier Field.

Jesse: Forte had his foot wrapped after getting tangled up with Jay Cutler and a Steelers lineman.Your health comes first, Matt.

Score: Bears 27, Steelers 20

 

FOURTH QUARTER

Walter: Aaaaand Cutler takes over. Right after the Steelers cut the lead to four, the Bears QB ran for a first down, hit Brandon Marshall for 41 yards and capped the drive with a TD strike to Earl Bennett. How MVP-like.

Hank: Earl Bennett gets an A-plus for focus on his touchdown catch, corralling the ball while dragging his feet in the corner of the end zone. Amazing.

Skyler: Roethlisberger and those damn pump-fakes confused the hell out of the Bears defense. And it almost burned them one too many times. Almost.

Jesse: After suffering a concussion in the preseason,Henry Melton injured his knee and left the field on a golf cart. Also, Charles Tillman suffered a groin injury.

Final score: Bears 40, Steelers 23

 

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