Is Bears defense (gasp) better than '85?

I'm about to commit a Chicago felony worse than ketchupping a hot dog. This column is the equivalent of moving a lawn chair out of a freshly shoveled parking spot.

I'm going to compare this year's Bears defense to the immortal 1985 defense. You mighta hearda dose guys?

Now, before you throw your block-letter Ditka vest at me in disgust, check the stats the 2012 team has put up so far.

>> 2012 Bears through six games: 78 points allowed, 21 turnovers, 5 TDs, 21 sacks

>> 1985 Bears through six games: 98 points allowed, 19 turnovers, 1 TD, 23 sacks

>> Hall of Famers on 1985 defense: Dan Hampton, Richard Dent, Mike Singletary

>> Hall of Famers on 2012 defense: Julius Peppers, Brian Urlacher, Lance Briggs, Charles Tillman? (If Peanut plays at this level for two more years, I say yes.)

>> 1985's future NFL head coaches: Leslie Frazier, Ron Rivera, Singletary

>> 2012's future NFL head coaches: Israel Idonije, Nick Roach, Craig Steltz (Man, this'll freak me out in 20 years if it's true.)

The '85 squad launched into All-Madden mode in Weeks 7-12, allowing only 29 points and forcing 23 turnovers in those six games. For style points, they also recorded "The Super Bowl Shuffle" the day after the season's only loss in Week 13.

Today's team should put up similarly gross and disgusting numbers for at least the next two weeks, facing Carolina and Tennessee offenses that rank 28th and 20th in points scored per game, respectively. If my comparison to the legendary '85 team seems premature today, it won't in 10 days' tyme, my frenz.

With the way modern NFL rules favor offense so much more than it did in the mid-'80s, it's impressive to see how these Bears compare to that all-time great unit. The 2012 team has 10 more regular-season games remaining to earn a place next to the Super Bowl XX champs.

But if they measure up and tack on a similar playoff run (three games, 10 points allowed, 10 turnovers, two TDs, 16 sacks), we'll see Henry Melton and Major Wright on local TV commercials for decades to come!

Alex Quigley is a RedEye special contributor.