I don't know about you, but my friends won't leave me alone about Halloween plans. Are we going to a bar? Is anyone having a house party? What should we do? I'll tell you what-let's weigh the pros in cons in four important categories. May the best party style win!
Cost
Bar: I've seen drink packages in the $45 range. Are you crazy? Navigating through a bunch of drunk people dressed as Raggedy Ann to get a beer means you probably won't be getting your money's worth.
House party: Unless you have some really lame friends, these should be free. Since you're not a deadbeat, you're on the hook to bring your own booze (or ice or mixer) unless otherwise specified. Not so bad, right?
Winner: House party
Available singles
Bar: It's time for a little Wingman tough love. Halloween at bars is a combination of Armageddon (the actual end of days, not the Ben Affleck movie) and that one weekend in college where your dad came to visit, got too drunk and hit on your girlfriend's roommates. It's just not a good look.
House party: A great situation for optimum hookup prospects, but you still have to have a plan. This is where you're finally going to meet that friend of your co-worker that he/she won't shut up about! Have your co-worker make the introduction, then go for the gold.
Winner: House party
Costume issues
Bar: Last year, a bunch of us went as "Tetris" pieces and had to disrobe in the bar. While it wasn't my first time shedding clothing in a Chicago drinking establishment, it wasn't convenient by any means. If you'll be bar-hopping, avoid heavy set pieces and cumbersome items such as helmets.
House party: Wear whatever you want. Wear as few or as many articles of clothing as you want. No pants? No problem! If you're at a party where you don't know anyone, is there a better icebreaker than partial nudity? I think not.
Winner: House party
Intangibles
Bar: With costumes managing to get both shorter and higher at the same time, there's a very decent chance you'll see a errant boob or even a sighting of the elusive bar wang. If that's what does it for you, then mazel tov!
House party: If you're in the market for a random Halloween hookup, then you're better off going to a house party. You can bring a bookbag with a change of clothes, stash it and change in the morning.
Winner: Bar
Overall winner: House party for Halloween! Going out is a big part of my job. I genuinely love spending time in bars. That being said, there are two days of the year you will not find me in a bar: New Year's Eve and Halloween. Let me leave you with a parable: I once saw a girl the day after Halloween wearing only a comforter get in her car and drive off. I don't care where you party, just don't be the one who has to take the comforter home.
Ernest Wilkins is Chicago's wingman. erwilkins@tribune.com
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