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So fresh and so clean

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Sometimes, you just need to stop and smell the bleach.

Wait, what?

That appeared to be the premise behind Clorox's Ick Awards, hosted Wednesday night on Twitter by Second City alum Rachel Dratch, who performed alongside current cast members to suggestions from the Twitterverse. (You might also know her from her years on "Saturday Night Live.") The diminutive Dratch took a few minutes backstage in a dress she deemed "resplendent" to talk to RedEye about all things yucky.

You lived in Chicago for a long time. Can you tell me about the ickiest place that you lived in?

You know, I kind of lucked out with apartments. But I will tell you one funny story is that I did live on Irving Park and Kenmore in an apartment that, when i checked it out, I didn't bother -- you know, I was in my 20s, young and foolish -- didn't bother to open the window to look out and see what i was next to. ... When I moved in, I discovered that I was like 5 feet from the "L" train, so I could look in and see what people were wearing on the "L" and it was super loud.

Well, and I'm sure the reverse was true, that they could just look in, and you'd kinda have to wear a lot of clothes all the time.

That's probably true. That wasn't really a problem, but yeah, it was very loud.

What's your favorite dive bar in Chicago?

We always used to go to the Old Town Ale House across from Second City, I assume that counts as a dive bar. We also used to go to some place called Rose's. I don't even know if there was a sign for it, it was on Lincoln. Yeah, I guess Old Town Ale House if that counts as a dive, or I don't know if it's a dive or more like, "historic."

I think these days in Old Town it probably counts as a dive.

OK good, then that's it.

So, what is the most embarassing thing that you've ever done to get a job?

This wasn't to get a job, but when I was starting out here, I appeared as Tweety Bird at the opening of the Warner Bros. store at like the Schaumburg mall or something for like a hundred bucks a day, which sounded like a lot of money. First I was Sylvester, and the head was so hot that I lasted like 15 minutes. I don't know how people do that. Then I changed over to Tweety, which had a lot more air in it, but ... teenagers would come up and hit the giant fiberglass Tweety Bird head. But I didn't do any crazy stunts to get a job -- show up as Catwoman on a set or something like that.

What's the biggest mess that your son has ever made.

I've been reading some of the tweets that have been coming in for this thing tonight, and people have crazy messes. Like, one person's daughter put peanut butter in the dryer. That's like, that's top-of-the-line mess to me. I don't have anything as glamorous as that, but just standard, like, you're holding your son and he's like "my tummy hurts" and like [makes upchucking noise] projectile vomit. But that's a pretty standard parental mess, so I don't expect to win an Ick Award for that this evening.

Right. Are you nominated in any categories.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm crushed. Well, I guess technically, the host can't win, so that's probably why I'm not gonna win tonight.

I mean, Amy Poehler was a host [at the 2014 Golden Globes] and she won. This can happen to you.

You're right. Well, I'm not Amy Poehler in many ways, so there we go with that. Is she hosting the Ick Awards? I think not! Bah, Golden Globes, p'shaw! I've got the Icks down!

Damoran@tribune.com


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