Dear Anna,
How far along in my relationship do I have to be before I can ask her to have sex in a public place?
- Voyeur Voyage
Dear VV,
It depends what kind of public place you're envisioning. Is it a Gap dressing room? If so, then wait six months to a year (you're in honeymoon phase territory, so "adventurous" sex still is exciting, but you're possibly getting bored of your girlfriend's creaky IKEA bed). Less time is needed if attempting public sex on, say, a private-ish balcony of a swanky hotel that you've so thoughtfully rented to celebrate something amazing (the Cubs winning doesn't count). Do you count camping sex as public? That can be proposed around one to two months in. Are you fantasizing about getting down in the restroom at an IHOP, which is open 24 hours, well-lit and stocked with all the fruit compote your heart could ever desire? Then, sir, I'd like to know if you're available Saturday.
Dear Anna,
Do I have a fetish or just like what I like? I'm 6'5", 200 pounds, and tend to date short (4'11" to 5'6"), busty, curvy women. The thing is they either don't believe I actually am attracted to them or they have societal standards stuck in their head that makes them think they are unattractive, fat or that our height difference is too much. I really get turned on by a short, busty girl and will go out of my way to pursue her sometimes to the point of embarrassing myself. Nothing has really worked out yet, but I find myself repeating the pattern mainly based on physical appearance.
- Tallboy
Dear Tallboy,
You're fine. As I said a few weeks ago, as long as you're treating these curvy, busty ladies as whole people, and not reducing them to the parts you enjoy, then you're not fetishizing; you're appreciating. Most people like a little objectification now and then because it lets them know they're desired by their partners. We all want to be physically appreciated sometimes, if for no other reason than that without it, dirty talk would become excessively awkward. "Mmm girl, I love the way you solved that Sudoku puzzle!"
But objectification only works if you appreciate all the admirable qualities your gal brings to the table. So, in short, feel free to pursue all the short shorties you want. You're not breaking any cardinal (or carnal) rules as long as you're attracted to more than that one aspect. Now somebody bring me a tallboy.
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