* (out of four)
Breaking news: Technology poses privacy risks. Parents are concerned about their kids, who often communicate via text. Teenagers are horny. Adults get horny too. The Internet has porn.
Until slumping director/co-writer Jason Reitman makes a movie about, I don't know, the dangers of UV rays, we have "Men, Women and Children," a big, finger-pointing pile of obvious that's not Reitman's worst movie this year (that would be "Labor Day") but might be the most unnecessary effort of 2014. The only possible benefit of its existence-outside of experience for the cast, which isn't the problem-would be if surveys were taken after the movie and anyone who said they learned something would complete a questionnaire with the address line filled in as "under a rock."
In this Texas-set ensemble piece adapted from Chad Kultgen's novel, masturbation enthusiast Don (Adam Sandler) and his wife Helen (Rosemarie Dewitt) don't have sex anymore and seek extramarital partners. Patricia (Jennifer Garner) monitors every keystroke made or received by her daughter, Brandy (Kaitlyn Dever), whose secret Tumblr page is tame compared to problems of classmates like Allison (Elena Kampouris), who developed an eating disorder after her crush called her fat. Fame-hungry Hannah's (Olivia Crocicchia) mom, Joan (Judy Greer), takes revealing pictures of her daughter and posts them online. Meanwhile, Tim (Ansel Elgort) loses interest in high school sports (which Elgort did for different reasons in "The Fault in Our Stars") and copes with his mom communicating only through Facebook after leaving him and his dad (Dean Norris).
It's not that social media-age concerns or timeless teenage issues are unworthy of discussion. It's that the narrow-minded "MWC" is so late to the party that the party's already been entirely cleaned up and thrown again. For this kind of social analysis, watch "Your Friends and Neighbors" and "Me and You and Everyone We Know." Even last year's "Disconnect" defended its communication-related redundancy with a few thoughtful moments. "MWC" has none. What it does have is weird voiceover from Emma Thompson (saying some things that can't be printed here), constant shots of a satellite drifting through space and a shoehorned-in discussion of 9/11 that goes nowhere.
Reitman ("Thank You For Smoking,""Juno") used to be fun and have something to say. His lesser efforts ("Up in the Air,""Young Adult") had some personality and entertainment value. This year, though, something is seriously wrong. I hope he's OK. Because he's not just missing badly. He's hitting himself in the forehead with the bat.
Watch Matt review the week's big new movies Fridays at 11:30 a.m. on NBC.
mpais@tribune.com
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