My darkest secret? Until this year, at the age of 27, I had never registered to vote.
Just under the wire, I finally succumbed to the shame and ridicule and registered online in Illinois. Here are some reasons, either legitimate and extremely stupid, for why it took me so damn long.
My parents never did.
I have little to zero faith in U.S. politicians and their never-ending drive to take money from lobbyists in order to get re-elected and keep making more money.
Until 2014, I had a Kansas driver's license -- I've lived here for nine years -- and I didn't think my birth control-hungry, flaming-blue souled vote mattered in the heartland.
You know our votes don't *really* count, like, ever, right?
I couldn't leave work to wait in line for hours.
I hate waiting in line more than almost anything.
I'm too indecisive for jury duty.
I really just don't need any more stickers floating around my house, guys.
Tyranny! Corruption! Blagojevich!
A guy with whom I went on a few dates couldn't get past that I had never voted before, and he was kind of terrible so I felt it necessary to spite him and America by never registering?
Have you ever seen "Black Sheep" with Chris Farley? The idea of getting trapped in one of those voting booths is terrifying.
I'm still mad about that whole eight years with George W. Bush, even though I was definitely the only one in my eighth grade class who submitted a vote through Kids Voting for Al Gore!
Ignorance is bliss.
I'm lazy.
I couldn't handle the peer pressure and Internet shaming any further.
I've run out of reasons.
Registered!
It's never too late -- go to elections.il.gov for information on how to register to vote.
Jessica Galliart is RedEye's social media lady.