Dear Anna,
I had a bad breakup with my ex, and now he's threatening to put our videos that bare everything onto the Internet. Is there anything I can do?-Not Embarrassed, But Bare
Dear NEBB,
What a garbage person. I'm glad you got out when you did, and I hope he suddenly becomes trapped under a large boulder. Of course, your best course of action, should you decide to be the bigger person and reason with him, is to try to stop him before he does something stupid. How you go about that will depend on what kind of terms you're on right now, whether he has a shred of humanity left and whether his face is prominent in the videos.
But if attempts to reason with him fail, then there are many avenues you can take to combat revenge porn-the non-consensual distribution of pornography, which is what your ex is threatening to do. Sixteen states thus far have passed laws against revenge porn, and Illinois, remarkably, has one of the best. The new law was just signed by Gov. Quinn this month, and it means it's now a felony to post sexual videos or photos of another person without his or her permission. Happy New Year! Tell your ex that if he posts non-consensual videos (or images) of you, he will be committing a Class 4 felony-which means up to three years in prison, fines up to $25,000 and restitution for any costs the victim (you) may have incurred, such as lawyer fees, emotional damages, etc.
Illinois' revenge porn law is one of the best in the nation because motives don't matter (some states require that perpetrators have the intent to cause emotional distress to the victim-which, doy!). Apparently it's easy-ish to argue that offenders had other motivations (such as "entertainment,""financial gain" and "to feed the gaping black hole in their soul"), which can get them off the hook. Illinois' law doesn't care about motives-it cares (correctly) about harm to the victims.
The law also includes photos or videos the victims have taken themselves, another bizarre exemption in some states' laws. And the victim doesn't have to be nude for it to "count" (for instance, in the case of a victim engaging in oral sex). In addition, the law recognizes "doxxing," which is very prevalent in revenge porn instances (59 percent of cases). Doxxing means posting the victim's personal information-full name, email address, phone number, social media accounts, etc.-along with the incriminating photos or videos, essentially opening up the victims for further harassment, stalking and threats.
For more information and resources, visit EndRevengePorn.com, the Cyber Civil Rights Project, WomenAgainstRevengePorn.com and WithoutMyConsent.org
Also, I think women should institute a literal tit for tat when it comes to racy images and videos-if your fellas wanna see you in the buff, they should pony up their own ponies first. That way, women will at least have a certain amount of leverage and bartering power if situations turn nasty, which they can and do. I hope your ex comes to his senses, NEBB, before he does something he surely will regret.
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