To bae or not to bae? That is the question.
Spoiling a significant other on Valentine's Day might be a no-brainer for most folks, but until recently I never considered Valentine's Day to be a gender-neutral holiday. As far as I was concerned, Feb. 14th was all about one thing: A guy showing me how much he loves me through gifts and fun-tivities.
Now, before you call me selfish and bratty or any other word that judgy people use to throw shade at those who are more honest, I should inform you that prior to my current relationship I was never with a guy who cared about Valentine's Day. My former boyfriends always gave me the impression that Valentine's Day was for girls, one of those things guys have to endure unless they find a girl who doesn't care about holidays. (I don't really care about holidays, I just care about getting stuff.)
So you can only imagine my shock when I was chatting with my current boyfriend about this being our first Valentine's Day as a couple, and he said,"I can't wait to see what you get me." I was like,"Wait ... you expect me to get you something?!?" He laughed, as if the idea of me not getting him something was Kevin Hart-level funny. I asked him,"Girls have gotten you Valentine's Day gifts before? What did they buy you?" And he responded,"They got me whatever I asked for, or just gave me the money to get what I want."
Ummm ... they gave him what he asked for? They gave him money? Money?!? I couldn't stop myself from saying,"Bruh! Chicks out here spoiling dudes like gentleman?!?" He actually laughed at me and asked,"Oh, so what about all the feminist equality stuff you're always talking about?" And I reminded him for the hundredth time,"That only applies to our relationship when I say so!"
Needless to say, my boyfriend knew I was crazy before he fell in love with me. I realize some of my world views might be a little out there, but am I really so nuts for thinking it's weird to buy a dude a gift for Valentine's Day? For one thing, Sweetest Day is the one that's supposed to be for guys. I have no idea when that is, but still, it exists. And what do you even give a dude for V-Day? A box of rum-filled chocolates and man-gerie? He already has a birthday every year that I'll have to spoil him on, why isn't that enough? I should not have to give him gifts to show that I love him; our everyday interactions should be proof enough of how I feel ...
That's when I realized girls should totally spoil their boyfriends for Valentine's Day. More than likely, ladies, the bae is only participating in the most Hallmark of holidays to put a smile on your face. He really couldn't care less whether he gets a gift. Doesn't that sorta mean he deserves one? Of course you could wait for Sweetest Day to hook him up, but nobody cares about Sweetest Day. Nobody. We shouldn't romance our guy because we're obligated. We should do it because he's worth it.
The Valentine's gift I got my boyfriend is awesome, way better than the cologne and sports crap his basic exes bought him in the past. Because nobody is a better gentleman to my baby than me!
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RedEye special contributor Nikki Lynette, a Chicago native, is an indie recording artist whose music appears on MTV, VH1, Showtime and more.
