If you're a fan of personality, new Bears coach John Fox already has a huge leg up on, say, Marc Trestman and Lovie Smith.
"You never say, 'Today is a great day for open-heart surgery,'" Fox said at his introductory news conference, referring to the operation he underwent in 2013. "It was a little scary. Luckily I was in a good place when it happened. I was back four weeks post-op, talking to guys on the training table, like 'That's a sprained ankle. I just had open heart surgery.' It gave me a little juice in the locker room."
The Bears went with experience when they hired the 59-year-old Fox on Friday as the franchise's 15th head coach.
On Monday, Fox faced a barrage of questions. Which means it's up to us to translate his answers.
ON JAY CUTLER
What he said:"I'm looking forward to getting to know him." Fox added that they have exchanged text messages.
What he meant:"It's simple. Dude's got a great arm. We're going to throw it deep every play and hope our receivers come down with it. Or hand it to Matt Forte. He's awesome."
ON LEAVING THE BRONCOS
What he said:"We parted ways mutually. ... It's OK to look in the rear-view mirror, just not too long."
What he meant:"I really let management have it. Tim Tebow? Really?! I'm a freakin' miracle worker. (See what I did there?)"
ON DEFENSIVE FORMATIONS
What he said:"We're going to put our players in the best position to have success. Whether it's a 3-4 or a 4-3, that hasn't been determined yet."
What he meant:"Jared Allen needs more sacks. Period. And we're putting a shock collar on Lamarr Houston in case he tries to celebrate again."
ON THE NFC NORTH
What he said:"I think [the NFC North] is the best division in football. I understand the rivalries. I understand having supremacy in the division."
What he meant:"How did this team finish dead last? I thought that's what the Lions were for."
ON HIS LEADERSHIP STYLE
What he said:"Sometimes people are sugar-coating. You see that a lot in this business. I'm not afraid to tell people the truth."
What he meant:"Ditka! Sausage! Hulk smash!"
ON HIS AGE (HE TURNS 60 IN FEBRUARY)
What he said:"I'm very healthy, I'm very energetic. I stay away from mirrors. I truly feel like I'm 36, when I went to work for Chuck Noll. When that goes away, I'll go away I try to surround myself with passionate people."
What he meant:"60 is the new 40. Deal with it. Race ya to the practice field!"
ON ANY APPREHENSION ABOUT THE JOB
What he said:"It's a vicious game. That's why we get compensated the way we do. My wife asks me what time I'm getting home and I'd say, 'I'll get a paper route, I'll be home a lot, but we have to move.' I was younger and not as mature when I said that."
What he meant: See previous translation.
ON MANAGING EXPECTATIONS
What he said:"I'm just me. I'm not smart enough to be anyone else. ... I don't think a good head coach can wear all the hats."
What he meant:"I miss Peyton Manning already." *sniff*
Tribune contributed to this report.